Brain: So you might have noticed we took a little siesta Me: Little? Brain: In the grand scheme of the space-time continuum it was a simple siesta. A brief break, a relaxing rewind, a restful respite, a collective chill out. Me: I get it Brain: Well you were no help Mr. let’s sequester ourselves for … More Squish, Squash, Squoosh
I have hijacked this page today to share the below email I sent to the CEO of The Home Depot on Monday. To his credit his email address is readily available and as I found out yesterday he has an Executive Escalation Support Center Dear Mr. CEO, I am currently a bit frustrated regarding my … More Lost – Battery powered mower
Me: What the fuck is wrong with the two of you? Heart: Huh? Brain: What? Me: Seriously. Can you stop with the nightmares Heart: What are you talking about? Brain: Yeah Fat Man, what’s going on? Me: You guys need to stop fucking with me. You scared the shit out of me again Heart: … More Boooo
Heart: “The beat goes on, the beat goes on Drums keep pounding A rhythm to the brain La de da de de, la de da de da” Brain: Heart are you really singing a Sonny and Cher song? Heart: You bet Brain… Brain: You scare me Heart: Come on Brain, you know you like it … More And the beat goes on….
Brain: Well haven’t we had quite the adventure since Thursday Me: That would be an understatement Brain: I guess there’s a bigger plan for us Me: It would seem that way Heart: Hey guys, what’s going on? Isn’t it a beautiful day! Brain: Good morning Heart. It does look like a beautiful day Heart: I … More Jim vs Gym
Me: So what’s going on Brain? Brain: Well, we’ve had to take care of a few things which meant being away from here for a while Me: Hey who is that? Brain: It’s a close friend of ours that I thought the time was appropriate to join us. This is Heart Me: Hey Heart Heart: … More You Gotta Have Heart…….
Brain: Hey, wake up Me: Yeah, yeah Brain: No really, it’s time to get our groove on Me: Groove this Brain: Let’s go your Fatness. It’s the unofficial start to summer! Let’s rock and roll Me: Why the hell are you so happy this morning Brain: What other way is there to be oh High … More Brain on Stage
Me: Hey Brain Brain: What? Me: I deleted all the German names from my cell phone Brain: What? Me: Yeah, it’s Hans-free Brain: It’s a wonder that I hang around with you. Me: Not like you have a choice Brain: True Me: Hey what’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? Brain: Stop Me: … More Reflective Brain
Me: <In a panic> Holy shit, we have a big problem Brain: Huh? Me: We have a big problem, wake the fuck up Brain: What’s the problem? Me: I forgot my password Brain: Which password? Me: I don’t know, I think all of them Brain: What are you talking about? Me: My phone doesn’t recognize … More Twitter Brain
Me: What the fuck was all that about? Brain: Huh? Me: Seriously, what was with all the beetles? Brain: Huh? Beatles? Me: Yes, I could hardly sleep because I kept dreaming about Beetles Brain: Which one? Me: What do you mean which one? Brain: Well, there was John, George, Paul and Ringo Me: No, not … More Beetle Brain