Free Bird Brain

Me: Let’s go
Brain: No way, it’s a blizzard outside
Me: No it’s not, the snow just started
Brain: But these fleece sheets are so warm
Me: Let’s rock
Brain: “Let’s rock?” Really, it’s been years since you rocked
Me: Shut up, let’s go
Brain: Fine

We’re 14:30 into our uninspiring workout. You know the kind of workout you do because you feel you have to, not because you want to. That’s when it happened…Spotify decided to help us out and the first notes of Free Bird came across my earphones.

We pick up my conversation with myself at the 18:30 mark. There is that distinctive shift of tempo and the trademark sound of Collins, Rossington and Gaines ripping on the guitar

Brain: Hey I love this song
Me: Yeah, me too
Brain: Come on fat man, keep up, lets fly
Me: Simmer down dude we’re already at 6, that’s a good pace
Brain: Feel that rhythm, go fast
Me: Okay, 7 is good
Brain: Push it we can go faster….channel your inner Usain Bolt
Me: Calm down we’re at 7.5 now, that’s plenty
Brain: Fly fat man fly you Free fucking Bird..
Me: 8.5 dude slow the hell down
Brain: I love this part….come on… a little air guitar…

That’s when the wheels fell off….

Me: Brain, I am leaving you a mental note….do not try to do air guitar on the eliptical machine when doing your best Usain Bolt imitation

Brain: Sorry fat man, I got a little carried away
Me: I’d say so, you almost killed us
Brain: Well maybe if you were a little more coordinated it wouldn’t have been an issue
Me: Don’t you control that
Brain: Oh yeah, sorry fat man
Me: It’s all good


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