Wobbly Brain

Brain: Please shut that thing off

Me: I just turned it to snooze

Brain: Whatever

Me: Ahhhhhhh

Brain: What the fuck, shut it off!

Me: Sorry Brain, that was 6 minutes, time to get up

Brain: 6 minutes? It felt like hours

Me: I know, that’s the magic of the snooze button

Brain: Ugh, where’s Mr. Caffeine?

Me: Downstairs, let’s go

Brain: Absolutely

arriving at the gym

Me: Today we’re going to mix it up and do the treadmill

Brain: What the Fuck is a treadmill?

Me: It’s like a moving sidewalk. It allows you to walk or run in place

Brain: Well that’s stupid

Me: We’re not doing that shtick again Brain

Brain: Fine. How’s it work

Me: We push this button here and it starts to speed up

Brain: That’s cool we got this

Me: Let’s add a little more speed

Brain: No problemo Fat Man

Me: Just a little more speed

Brain: Easy Fat Man. Where the hell are we supposed to look? Down or straight ahead?

Me: Relax Brain, just go with it

Brain: Go with it? You’re not the one trying to coordinate steps, breathing and maintain a heart rate.

Me: Brain it’s not that big a deal

Treadmill then comes to an abrupt stop

Me: Brain, what the hell is going on?

Brain: Ummmm, we got a little wobbly and we ran into that big red button that says stop.

Me: Why the hell did you do that?

Brain: Hey don’t yell at me! I didn’t do it, we did it. Plus I had a lot going on.

Me: I’m not yelling

Brain: Yes you are. I think we sped up when we should have slowed down.

Me: Fine. Just push the start button and keep going

Brain: Maybe we zigged when we should have zagged

Me: Great, let’s keep going

Brain: Should we be looking up or looking down?

Me: Come on Brain

Brain: Should we hold onto the rail or not?

Me: BRAIN, let’s go

Brain: Oh, sorry. What were we doing?

Me: Push the button to start the treadmill

Brain: Okay. Do you think they call it a mill because it grinds you into dust?

Me: Just shut up and leave me alone

Brain: Fine. I think we’ll turn on the TV

Me: No leave it off

Brain: Nope

Me: Just relax

Brain: You relax Fat Man

Me: sigh….happy Tuesday


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