Brain: Please shut that thing off
Me: I just turned it to snooze
Brain: What the fuck, shut it off!
Me: Sorry Brain, that was 6 minutes, time to get up
Brain: 6 minutes? It felt like hours
Me: I know, that’s the magic of the snooze button
Brain: Ugh, where’s Mr. Caffeine?
Me: Downstairs, let’s go
arriving at the gym
Me: Today we’re going to mix it up and do the treadmill
Brain: What the Fuck is a treadmill?
Me: It’s like a moving sidewalk. It allows you to walk or run in place
Brain: Well that’s stupid
Me: We’re not doing that shtick again Brain
Brain: Fine. How’s it work
Me: We push this button here and it starts to speed up
Brain: That’s cool we got this
Me: Let’s add a little more speed
Brain: No problemo Fat Man
Me: Just a little more speed
Brain: Easy Fat Man. Where the hell are we supposed to look? Down or straight ahead?
Me: Relax Brain, just go with it
Brain: Go with it? You’re not the one trying to coordinate steps, breathing and maintain a heart rate.
Me: Brain it’s not that big a deal
Treadmill then comes to an abrupt stop
Me: Brain, what the hell is going on?
Brain: Ummmm, we got a little wobbly and we ran into that big red button that says stop.
Me: Why the hell did you do that?
Brain: Hey don’t yell at me! I didn’t do it, we did it. Plus I had a lot going on.
Me: I’m not yelling
Brain: Yes you are. I think we sped up when we should have slowed down.
Me: Fine. Just push the start button and keep going
Brain: Maybe we zigged when we should have zagged
Me: Great, let’s keep going
Brain: Should we be looking up or looking down?
Me: Come on Brain
Brain: Should we hold onto the rail or not?
Me: BRAIN, let’s go
Brain: Oh, sorry. What were we doing?
Me: Push the button to start the treadmill
Brain: Okay. Do you think they call it a mill because it grinds you into dust?
Me: Just shut up and leave me alone
Brain: Fine. I think we’ll turn on the TV
Me: No leave it off
Me: Just relax
Brain: You relax Fat Man
Me: sigh….happy Tuesday