Me: Brain, that was a great work out this morning!
Brain: It was okay for an old, bald, Fat Man
Me: At least pretend to be supportive
Brain: Sorry, I will try. I’m a little tired
Me: I have just the fix. Let’s stretch and meditate.
Brain: Whatever.
Me: No, I am serious.
Brain: Sure you are
Me: Now let’s focus on our breathing
Brain: Focusing
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: What am I focusing on again?
Me: Breathing. Focus on breathing
Brain: Okay, I’m starting to get it
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Oh yeah I’m feeling it
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Yep, I can feel it.
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Wow this is trippy man
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Uh oh
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: I can’t
Me: That’s it. Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Stop. Think about something else
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Shit, I can’t hold it back
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Shit, shit, shit. He’s gonna be pissed
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Duuunn Dunn
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Duuunn Dunn
Me: Breathe in, deep breath out
Brain: Duuunn Dunn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dunnnn
Me: WHAT THE FUCK! You are such a jerk
Brain: I can’t help it, I just get so restless doing nothing and then the shark from Jaws pops in my head and next thing you know John Williams soundtrack takes over.
Me: You suck. Do you know that doing nothing is good for you. It helps you recharge
Brain: Really? You’d think I’d be the fucking energizer bunny
Me: Yes it does, now let’s get in the shower
Brain: I can’t
Me: Why not?
Brain: I’m practicing doing nothing
Me: That’s for later, now we have to get ready for work
Brain: Nah, I don’t feel like it. I like doing nothing
Me: Brain, come on. We’ve got to get moving
Brain: Breathe in, deep breath out
Me: BRAIN!
Brain: Breathe in, deep breath out
Me: Come on, quit fucking around
Brain: Shhhhhh breathe in, deep breath out, I’m practicing nothingness
Me: Okay, I get it, let’s go
Brain: Breathe in, deep breath out I think I’m getting it
Me: SHARK!!! SHARK!!! SHARK!!!
Brain: HUh, What’s that? I was busy looking into nothingness
Me: Come on Brain, please?
Brain: Hahahaha, I was just fucking with ya, let’s go
Me: You are such a dick
Brain: That’s me.
