Brain vs Meditation 2

Me: Brain, that was a great work out this morning!

Brain: It was okay for an old, bald, Fat Man

Me: At least pretend to be supportive

Brain: Sorry, I will try. I’m a little tired

Me: I have just the fix. Let’s stretch and meditate.

Brain: Whatever.

Me: No, I am serious.

Brain: Sure you are

Me: Now let’s focus on our breathing

Brain: Focusing

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: What am I focusing on again?

Me: Breathing. Focus on breathing

Brain: Okay, I’m starting to get it

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Oh yeah I’m feeling it

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Yep, I can feel it.

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Wow this is trippy man

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Uh oh

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: I can’t

Me: That’s it. Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Stop. Think about something else

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Shit, I can’t hold it back

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Shit, shit, shit. He’s gonna be pissed

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Duuunn Dunn

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Duuunn Dunn

Me: Breathe in, deep breath out

Brain: Duuunn Dunn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dundun dunnnn

Me: WHAT THE FUCK! You are such a jerk

Brain: I can’t help it, I just get so restless doing nothing and then the shark from Jaws pops in my head and next thing you know John Williams soundtrack takes over.

Me: You suck. Do you know that doing nothing is good for you. It helps you recharge

Brain: Really? You’d think I’d be the fucking energizer bunny

Me: Yes it does, now let’s get in the shower

Brain: I can’t

Me: Why not?

Brain: I’m practicing doing nothing

Me: That’s for later, now we have to get ready for work

Brain: Nah, I don’t feel like it. I like doing nothing

Me: Brain, come on. We’ve got to get moving

Brain: Breathe in, deep breath out

Me: BRAIN!

Brain: Breathe in, deep breath out

Me: Come on, quit fucking around

Brain: Shhhhhh breathe in, deep breath out, I’m practicing nothingness

Me: Okay, I get it, let’s go

Brain: Breathe in, deep breath out I think I’m getting it

Me: SHARK!!! SHARK!!! SHARK!!!

Brain: HUh, What’s that? I was busy looking into nothingness

Me: Come on Brain, please?

Brain: Hahahaha, I was just fucking with ya, let’s go

Me: You are such a dick

Brain: That’s me.


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