Me: Back hurts
Me: Knee hurts
Me: Ankle hurts
Me: I’ll go the rest of the week I promise
Me: No really. I’ll go
Me: I am so tired
Me: Who the fuck even cares if I go
Me: It’s just one day
Me: Maybe tomorrow we’ll do a 5k on the elliptical
Me: I just can’t go
Me: Is that all you’re going to say
Me: Fuck it then, no gym today
Me: Ahhhh, the pillow feels so nice
Me: Bonus sleep ahhhhh
Brain: Okay douche monkey, quit fucking around and get up
Me: I really can’t today
Brain: Fat Man, it’s fucking Monday. Monday’s are always like this
Me: I know but I really can’t today
Brain: Listen ass clown, you’ve gone through your little list of every excuse in the book. Now get up and lets rock
Me: No. You can’t make me.
Brain: You still don’t get it, do you Fat Man?
Me: Shut up, stop calling me Fat Man
Brain: Okay Ass Bag, get the fuck up!
Brain: Okay, you asked for it
Me: No please stop, please
Brain: Too late, now get up
Me: My god, you put a giant Tony Robbins head on Richard Simmons body and he’s yelling at me. Make it stop!
Brain: Not until you get up
Me: No, no,……. “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.”……………..ahhhhhh
Brain: LOL….talk about a “no shit” moment….
Me: Fine, fine I’ll go, just get that thing outta my head.
Me: You suck Brain. That was a horrific vision
Brain: Let’s go, it’s Monday. Let’s kick the shit outta of it
Me: Okay Brain, just keep that monstrosity outta my head