Me: Hmmmm, where did I put my keys?
Brain: Sorry, I wasn’t listening, what’s up.
Me: Do you remember where I put my keys when we came into the gym?
Brain: Nope, I wasn’t paying attention
Me: Think for a minute.
Brain: Okay. I got nothing.
Me: Did you even try to think?
Brain: Not really.
Me: Come on. Help me.
Brain: Okay. You came in and put your keys……I got nothing.
Me: Where the fuck did I put them
Brain: Did you look in your coat
Me: Of course I looked in my coat.
Brain: Don’t bark at me Fat Man
Me: Sorry, please think.
Brain: Thinking…hmmmm boobies…..
Brain: You told me to think.
Me: Think about where I put my keys not boobies. God can you just, for this once, focus?
Me: Focus, I said focus.
Brain: Focus, right. Boobies, hehehehe
Me: Stop that, this isn’t funny
Brain: Sorry, no laughing here…..boobies
Me: You are such a dick
Brain: You’re the one who misplaced his keys
Brain: Maybe we should we call that Saklad guy?
Me: Why call him?
Brain: I read that he has a lot of experience finding lost keys
Me: Leave him out of this
Brain: Hey, I know where the keys are!
Me: Really? Where?
Brain: Just kidding, I still got nothing.
Me: Stop being a dick and help
Brain: I know where they are but since you’re being a weenie I ain’t telling ya.
Me: Please, we’ve got to get out of here
Brain: They’re in your sneaker
Brain: The keys are in the other pair of sneakers you have to wear into the gym. You know, we have to change into clean sneakers so we don’t track dirt onto the machines.
Me: Whatever, yeah
Brain: You put them in there instead of your coat you dumb ass
Me: No I didn’t
Brain: Just look in the sneaker Fat Man
Me: Huh? Why the hell did I put them in there?
Brain: Good question fruit bat
Me: Thanks for helping Brain
Brain: No problemo grand master of largeness
Me: Shut up
Brain: Boobies, hehehehe
Me: Always have to have the last word, don’t ya?