Brain Book

Brain: Hey, do you know which cup will fill up first?

Me: What?

Brain: How about which pail will fill up first?

Me: No?

Brain: How about which beer mug?

Me: No

Brain: Okay, how about which flask?

Me: NO! What are you doing?

Brain: Do you know what the answer is if you have two squares, inside two pentagons, plus three bananas, times 2 cups of coffee?

Me: What?

Brain: How about if we switch out the cups of coffee for 3 half-filled beer mugs?

Me: Shut up and leave me alone.

Brain: Hmmmmm should I really tell them the name of my first school, the street I grew up on, my first car, my mother’s maiden name (even though I know you already know that), my first pet’s name or my favorite anything.

Me: Uh, oh. What’s going on?

Brain: Did you know that Amherst, Granby, Ware, Sunderland are just some of the names of towns in Massachusetts that don’t have an “O” in their name? Who knew?

Me: Hello Brain?

Brain: Wouldn’t it be funny if the 3rd or 17th picture in someone’s photo album happened to be good old fashioned porn action shots instead of fluffy bunnies or romantic sunsets and they had to post it because someone said?

Me: Lol, that would be kind of funny

Brain: I can’t wait. I just entered for a chance to win the free: car, boat, motorcycle, concert tickets, hotel rooms and house.

Me: Simmer down oh wise one.

Brain: It’s kind of funny. You have this big motherfucking data gathering machine that is sucking up all the intimate information people are too willing to share and then the same people complain about said information being used for profit????

Me: Easy now

Brain: No really, the big motherfucking data machine was built as one big altruistic act

Me: Breathe. I sense a bit of sarcasm….

Brain: Sorry I got carried away

Me: Let me guess, you were on Facebook before we fell asleep?

Brain: Yep, sorry

Me: You feel better now that you got that all out

Brain: Absolutely

Me: Good, we need to go to the gym

Brain: Okay, hey look, my Cinco de mayo name is Fernando Donkeyrider.

Me: Stop it

Brain: Sorry, just couldn’t resist

Me: Thank you

Brain: Happy Friday!

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