Brain Pigment

Brain: Whoa, the colors are pretty crazy this morning

Me: zzzzzzzzzzz

Brain: I guess that’s what they mean when they say, pigment of your imagination

Me: Yawn, Huh?

Brain: Hey Rocket Boy. Check out the pigment of your imagination.

Me: What? What are you talking about?

Brain: Look at the pretty colors. It’s the pigment of your imagination

Me: You’re an idiot. It’s figment not pigment

Brain: No, the colors are the pigment of your imagination

Me: The saying is figment of your imagination

Brain: It’s an idiom.

Me: Whatever

Brain: You know like: a penny for your thoughts or blessing in disguise or my favorite, don’t give up your day job.

Me: Why are we even having this discussion it’s 2:30am

Brain:Just want to make sure we see eye to eye

Me: What?

Brain: Come on it’s the best thing since sliced bread

Me: Stop it

Brain: What happened, you bite off more than you could chew

Me: I know what you’re doing now go back to sleep

Brain: Hey, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it

Me: Please can we go back to sleep so you can play with either the pigment or figment of your imagination

Brain: Hey why was the fig confused?

Me: Why?

Brain: He didn’t know what the other fig meant

Me: Shut up and go to sleep

Brain: You know what a fig scientist is called?

Me: Uh, no and I don’t care

Brain: It’s easy, a Fig Newton

Me: Go away

Brain: Fig leaves are also good to use to cover ones genitals in a pinch.

Me: Shut the fuck up about the figs

Brain: You know like if you were naked and got in trouble with your dad for eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Me: What???

Brain: Adam and Eve monkey ass. They used fig leaves to cover their junk when they got booted out of the garden

Me: Enough with the figs. Please!

Brain: Why are you a fig hater?

Me: I don’t hate figs. I hate that I am having this discussion at 2:45am

Brain: I don’t think figs get enough love

Me: Ugh, just shut up

Brain: Fine. Bob’s here anyway and he want’s to play

Me: Bob? Who’s Bob?

Brain: You don’t know Bob?

Me: Ahhhh, no.

Brain: Bob and I go back ten or fifteen years

Me: Really? Why don’t I know him?

Brain: Because you’re a dick and never want to play

Me: I am not a dick.

Brain: Bob is a miniature talking elephant who can make himself invisible whenever he wants and has a penchant for fast cars, vintage tequila and blondes

Me: What?

Brain: You asked me who Bob is?

Me: Please try to be quiet in there. It’s now almost 3am am and I need to get some sleep

Brain: Sleep, schmeep it’s so over rated

Me: Can we please go to sleep

Brain: Fat man, you are asleep

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