Brain: Whoa, the colors are pretty crazy this morning
Me: zzzzzzzzzzz
Brain: I guess that’s what they mean when they say, pigment of your imagination
Me: Yawn, Huh?
Brain: Hey Rocket Boy. Check out the pigment of your imagination.
Me: What? What are you talking about?
Brain: Look at the pretty colors. It’s the pigment of your imagination
Me: You’re an idiot. It’s figment not pigment
Brain: No, the colors are the pigment of your imagination
Me: The saying is figment of your imagination
Brain: It’s an idiom.
Me: Whatever
Brain: You know like: a penny for your thoughts or blessing in disguise or my favorite, don’t give up your day job.
Me: Why are we even having this discussion it’s 2:30am
Brain:Just want to make sure we see eye to eye
Me: What?
Brain: Come on it’s the best thing since sliced bread
Me: Stop it
Brain: What happened, you bite off more than you could chew
Me: I know what you’re doing now go back to sleep
Brain: Hey, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it
Me: Please can we go back to sleep so you can play with either the pigment or figment of your imagination
Brain: Hey why was the fig confused?
Me: Why?
Brain: He didn’t know what the other fig meant
Me: Shut up and go to sleep
Brain: You know what a fig scientist is called?
Me: Uh, no and I don’t care
Brain: It’s easy, a Fig Newton
Me: Go away
Brain: Fig leaves are also good to use to cover ones genitals in a pinch.
Me: Shut the fuck up about the figs
Brain: You know like if you were naked and got in trouble with your dad for eating the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
Me: What???
Brain: Adam and Eve monkey ass. They used fig leaves to cover their junk when they got booted out of the garden
Me: Enough with the figs. Please!
Brain: Why are you a fig hater?
Me: I don’t hate figs. I hate that I am having this discussion at 2:45am
Brain: I don’t think figs get enough love
Me: Ugh, just shut up
Brain: Fine. Bob’s here anyway and he want’s to play
Me: Bob? Who’s Bob?
Brain: You don’t know Bob?
Me: Ahhhh, no.
Brain: Bob and I go back ten or fifteen years
Me: Really? Why don’t I know him?
Brain: Because you’re a dick and never want to play
Me: I am not a dick.
Brain: Bob is a miniature talking elephant who can make himself invisible whenever he wants and has a penchant for fast cars, vintage tequila and blondes
Me: What?
Brain: You asked me who Bob is?
Me: Please try to be quiet in there. It’s now almost 3am am and I need to get some sleep
Brain: Sleep, schmeep it’s so over rated
Me: Can we please go to sleep
Brain: Fat man, you are asleep
