Brain vs fuzzy moving lump

Brain: Hey you

Me: You talking to me?

Brain: No, them

Me: Them?

Brain: They know who they are

Me: Whatever you say

Brain: Hey you out there

Me: What’s up


Me: Yo, what’s up with you today?

Brain: I’m feeling pretty good especially considering what happened at the gym today

Me: Oh yeah, that was pretty embarrassing. Should we tell them?

Brain: Fuck it, why not

Me: Okay go ahead

Story time….

Brain: Like the other 30 plus days we wake up in a somnambulistic stupor and we get dressed for the gym

Me: Like always

Brain: Stupor, what a great word. Anyway, we put on one of those tech-wick, long sleeved, running shirts, gym shorts, socks and running shoes

Me: The shirt doesn’t chafe our nipples

Brain: Dude, really? I think that’s over sharing

Me: Sorry but chafed nipples hurt

Brain: Really? When was the last time you had chafed nipples?

Me: I don’t remember

Brain: Anyway, these tech-wick shirts are like a portable Van de Graaff generator. They generate and retain so much static electricity it’s crazy

Me: Look at you Mr. Wizard with the science reference

Brain; Go pick your nose you knuckle-dragging, brachiator

Me: You’re so mean

Brain: Anyway, we make are way to the gym and in a sleep deprived fog we start on the elliptical machine

Me: Hehehehe

Brain: That’s when it happens. As we’re doing our thing I notice a weird fuzzy lump inside of my Van de Graaff generator shirt. As I am processing, trying to figure out what the fuck it is, the fucking thing moves. I mean, it fucking moves. Okay, fuzzy moving lump. Hmmmm not good

Me: Definitely not good. LOL

Brain: No, definitely not good. In a fuzzy moving lump panic we jump off the elliptical machine

Me: Trust me it wasn’t graceful. It was move of a controlled stumble

Brain: Whatever, we tear off off the shirt and the fuzzy moving lump jumps out of the shirt and is now staring at me from the floor

Me: The fierce, fuzzy moving lump LOL

Brain: Fuck you ass bag. Anyway, there was the fuzzy lump for all to see….one of my dress socks. It seems that as my sweat reduced the Van de Graaff power of the shirt the fuzzy lump was released from the static charge holding it in the shirt so it could began moving around.

Me: Tell them the good part

Brain: The good part was the gym was empty. Then I realized that there are security cameras. I am sure today there are some gym owners wetting themselves watching us do the fuzzy lump mouse in the shirt crazy dance.

Me: Fucking priceless

Brain: Hey you, laugh a little, have some fun, rock your day! Happy 4/20

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