Brain: Hey you
Me: You talking to me?
Brain: No, them
Brain: They know who they are
Me: Whatever you say
Brain: Hey you out there
Me: What’s up
Brain: ROCK YOUR DAY.MAKE A DIFFERENCE. SPREAD SOME POZITUDINALLY RIGHTEOUS LOVE. LEAVE NO TRACE
Me: Yo, what’s up with you today?
Brain: I’m feeling pretty good especially considering what happened at the gym today
Me: Oh yeah, that was pretty embarrassing. Should we tell them?
Brain: Fuck it, why not
Me: Okay go ahead
Brain: Like the other 30 plus days we wake up in a somnambulistic stupor and we get dressed for the gym
Me: Like always
Brain: Stupor, what a great word. Anyway, we put on one of those tech-wick, long sleeved, running shirts, gym shorts, socks and running shoes
Me: The shirt doesn’t chafe our nipples
Brain: Dude, really? I think that’s over sharing
Me: Sorry but chafed nipples hurt
Brain: Really? When was the last time you had chafed nipples?
Me: I don’t remember
Brain: Anyway, these tech-wick shirts are like a portable Van de Graaff generator. They generate and retain so much static electricity it’s crazy
Me: Look at you Mr. Wizard with the science reference
Brain; Go pick your nose you knuckle-dragging, brachiator
Me: You’re so mean
Brain: Anyway, we make are way to the gym and in a sleep deprived fog we start on the elliptical machine
Brain: That’s when it happens. As we’re doing our thing I notice a weird fuzzy lump inside of my Van de Graaff generator shirt. As I am processing, trying to figure out what the fuck it is, the fucking thing moves. I mean, it fucking moves. Okay, fuzzy moving lump. Hmmmm not good
Me: Definitely not good. LOL
Brain: No, definitely not good. In a fuzzy moving lump panic we jump off the elliptical machine
Me: Trust me it wasn’t graceful. It was move of a controlled stumble
Brain: Whatever, we tear off off the shirt and the fuzzy moving lump jumps out of the shirt and is now staring at me from the floor
Me: The fierce, fuzzy moving lump LOL
Brain: Fuck you ass bag. Anyway, there was the fuzzy lump for all to see….one of my dress socks. It seems that as my sweat reduced the Van de Graaff power of the shirt the fuzzy lump was released from the static charge holding it in the shirt so it could began moving around.
Me: Tell them the good part
Brain: The good part was the gym was empty. Then I realized that there are security cameras. I am sure today there are some gym owners wetting themselves watching us do the fuzzy lump mouse in the shirt crazy dance.
Me: Fucking priceless
Brain: Hey you, laugh a little, have some fun, rock your day! Happy 4/20