Brain Mileage

Brain: Happy Tuesday Fat Man

Me: Whatever you say

Brain: Come on man, it’s a glorious day

Me: It’s 4am, nothing is glorious

Brain: Embrace the day, it’s awesome

Me: Sure

Brain: Let’s rock and roll

Me: You and your rock and roll, ugh

Brain: Fat Man, you’re going to rock the elliptical. I just know it

Me: Glad you think so

Brain: I don’t think, I know so

Me: Alright, let’s go

Arriving at the gym we begin our elliptical session

Brain: Fat Man?

Me: What?

Brain: Do you believe what that guy in front of us just did?

Me: What are you talking about?

Brain: Do you see that guy getting off the treadmill in front of us?

Me: Yeah

Brain: Look at the screen of the treadmill

Me: Yeah, so what?

Brain: So what? He walked for 17:25 and got off having walked .95 of a mile

Me: So what?

Brain: So WHAT?

Me: Yeah, so what

Brain: Oh dude of the double X, you can’t get off the treadmill at 17:25 or leave it at .95 of a mile

Me: WHy not?

Brain: It’s not right. You gotta finish the last .05 mile to make it an even 1 mile. You need to at least keep walking until you end on a clean minute time like 18:00 or 20:00

Me: What the hell are you talking about

Brain: We need to go over there and finish his mile

Me: What?

Brain: Come on, he left. Let’s go finish the walk so it’s an even mile

Me: We are not going to do that

Brain: I have to Fat Man

Me: NO!

Brain: It’s really bugging me, I’m going over

Me: No we are not

Brain: Please?

Me: We can’t. If we leave our elliptical we won’t finish on our even mile distance

Brain: Shit, you’re right. What the fuck am I going to do?

Me: How about you just chill out and relax

Brain: I can’t it’s really bugging me. Look at it mocking us with it’s bright .95 shining at us

Me: Dude, you need to focus on something else

Brain: Like what?

Me: Maybe if you’re good today I’ll take you to Barnes and Noble and you can arrange the books on their shelves

Brain: Really?

Me: Sure

Brain: Okay, where were we

Me: Just finishing our 3 miles for the day

Brain: Cool, thanks Fat Man

Me: Anytime Brain


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