Hoo Brain

Me: Alright, alright can you ever be quiet?

Brain: Nope. Time to get up

Me: It’s only 330am!!!

Brain: But you’re not tired. Think of all the stuff you need to get done today

Me: Ugh, you suck

Brain: Since we’re up lets go to the gym

Me: Fine

Driving down the driveway we stop. I roll down the window and start talking to the Barred owl that is sitting on a branch 15 feet from me

Brain: Hey, what the hell are you doing

Me: “hoo,hoo,too-hoo,hoo, hoo,hoo,too-hoo,ooooo”

Brain: No really, why are we stopped on the driveway and you have your head out the window making ridiculous sounds

Me: I’m talking to that barred owl

Brain: Why?

Me: Why not?

Brain: Who are you Dr. Fucking Doolittle?

Me: Shut up. Can you once just appreciate the environment around you

Brain: Fine. Oh, look at the pretty owl

Me: Don’t be a dick

Brain: I do appreciate the environment. I just don’t appreciate your imitation of a barred owl at 345am

Me: Hey, you’re the one that woke us up

Brain: True enough

Me: Look at her staring right at us

Brain: She is pretty cool looking with those black pools for eyes

Me: Very cool. “hoo,hoo,too-hoo,hoo, hoo,hoo,too-hoo,ooooo”

Brain: Dude, enough with the hoo, hoo, hoo’s. If I am lucky Mrs. Owl mistakes your head for a field mouse.

Me: Do you know that owls have long been associated with wisdom, stealth, clairvoyance, the occult and Goddess Athena?

Brain: Yeah, so

Me: You also find the owl symbol referenced in Freemasonry

Brain: Whatever you say

Me: As a matter of fact there’s a tiny owl hidden on a one dollar bill

Brain: Really? Where?

Me: You have to find it yourself

Brain: Just tell me

Me: Nope

Brain: Fine, I’ll get it out of you when you not paying attention

Me: “hoo,hoo,too-hoo,hoo, hoo,hoo,too-hoo,ooooo”

Brain: Stop with the hooting, let’s get going

Me: Fine. Bye owl

Brain: Speaking of birds, you’re a loon

Me: Very funny

Brain: Boobies, boobies, boobies

Me: Get your mind out of the gutter

Brain: What? Boobies are birds too?

Me: Whatever

Brain: What do you have against Boobies?

Me: I have nothing against Boobies, especially the blue-footed booby

Brain: Now your talking

Me: Hey reader? Can you find the tiny owl on the one dollar bill?


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