Me: Oh man I could have used another couple of hours of sleep
Brain: Let’s go Fat Man. No rest for the wicked
Me: But it’s 66 degrees already and it’s only 4am
Brain: Dude you complain when it’s cold, you complain when it’s hot…just shut up
Me: Hey, I’m a New Englander, it’s what we do
Brain: Whatever, let’s rock Weather Weenie
…….We arrive at the gym
Brain: Hey look at that
Brain: This weeks challenge is rowing. Look at the board it’s divided by age groups
Me: Cool. I guess you row for 15 minutes and record how far you went.
Brain: Rowing, meh, how hard can that be?
Me: Let’s do our weight set and then row
Brain: Works for me.
Me: Looking at the board it’s kind of depressing to know our age group 56-60 is the last one before 61+
Brain: Fuck that. Depressing my ass. We rock!
Me: I don’t know.
Brain: You don’t know shit you Titanic Tub of Goo
Me: Be nice
Brain: I am being nice. We worked really hard, sometimes, to get here. Let’s rock the rowing machine (whatever the fuck that is) and get our name on the board
Me: You’re right Brain
Brain: Of course I am
Me: Let’s row
Brain: Right on let’s ROW!
….15 minutes and 2,513 meters later
Me: Hey, can you pick up our arms?
Brain: Never mind our arms, why do our legs feel like jello?
Me: Whoa, really
Brain: No, what the fuck was that?
Me: Seriously, where did our arms go
Brain: Holy crap that hurts. Who the hell knew that rowing could hurt so much
Me: I had no idea
Brain: I made the mistake of thinking rowing was the same as paddling
Me: No kidding
Brain: I mean, they’re both ways to move through the water, right?
Brain: I was thinking, what a great exercise option. Let’s paddle for a few meters and call it a day
Me: Me too
Brain: I like paddling. Paddling has this implication of relaxed travel through water
Me: Paddling is cool
Brain: Rowing on the other hand is competitive and evil.
Me: I agree
Brain: Now that I think about it they have whole sports dedicated to rowing. People have rowed across oceans. There are such things as rowing clubs
Me: You’re right
Brain: Paddling is more my style.
Me: Paddling you can do with a beer
Brain: Anything you can do with a beer is a good thing
Me: Like darts
Brain: Yep, horseshoes are good too
Brain: Rowing not so much
Me: Nope, rowing is right out
…..writing our distance on the board in our age group
Brain: Hey Fat Man
Brain: I can’t wait for tomorrow to row again and beat our number
Me: I thought you didn’t like the rowing machine?
Brain: I hate the fucking thing but we need to beat our number
Me: You are one competitive asshole
Brain: And what’s wrong with that?
Me: Nothing, just making an observation
Brain: Rest up Tubby the Tugboat we’re going to rock and row tomorrow
Me: Very funny
Brain: Hey, I just remembered. A week from today is one of our favorite days of the year.
Me: What are you talking about
Brain: May 10th, it’s International Monty Python Day.
Me: Oh shit, you’re right
Brain: We need to think about what we’re going to do to celebrate
Me: It will give us something to do when we’re rowing tomorrow
Brain: Right on