Brain Curd

Brain: This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test. If this was a real emergency, well, we’d be fucked

Me: Huh?

Brain: Rise and shine Knucklehead

Me: Whoa, we got whacked hard by the sleep stick last night

Brain: You’re welcome. I thought we’d appreciate it

Me: What a great way to start a Friday

Brain: Indeed Fat Man

Me: I love laying here listening to nature wake up

Brain: Enough laying about let’s rock

Me: Okay

Brain: We got some rowing to do Captain Cheese Curd

Me: Alright, alright….man you are impatient

Brain: Well you are the Director of Dawdle. Just so you know, everything doesn’t have to be a “process”

Me: I’m ready, calm down

Brain: Dawdle, dawdle, dawdle

Me: I’m ready

Brain: Finally, Lieutenant Lazy

Me: I said I am ready

Brain: Okay Pope of Procrastination

And off we go to the gym

Brain: You ready for this Fat Man?

Me: Let’s do it

About 8 minutes in

Me: Okay, I’m good, my arms are killing me

Brain: I told you to use your legs more

Me: I am, this is harder today than yesterday

Brain: Come on Rocket Man, we got this

Me: I don’t know. Let’s stop and do something else

Brain: No way Jose. We’ve gotta beat our record from yesterday

Me: You and our damn records

Brain: We got this dude, we rock

Me: Nope, I’m stopping

Brain: Stop at 9 minutes? You know we can’t do that. It’s so uneven.

Me: Ughh, this sucks

Brain: Come on man, don’t think about failure, think about how much positive we’ve already achieved

Me: Whatever

Brain: I am serious dude. We’re now over 50% done. We got this!

Me: Please lets stop

Brain: No can do your fatness

Me: Fine

Brain: Now you’re talking!

Me Whatever

Brain: It could be worse

Me: How so

Brain: You could be facing the Knights Who Say Ni

Me: What?

Brain: Or you could be trying to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring

Me: What?

Brain: Sorry they are now the Knights who say, “Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z’nourrwringmm”

Me: Oh, I get it. It’s a Monty Python thing

Brain: Right on you Pudgy Little Penguin

Me: Thanks Brain, you got us through our work out today

Brain: That’s what I do, I am a half-full kind of Brain

Me: Half-full of shit I’d say

Brain: Good one

Me: Thanks

Brain: Happy Friday and make it count!


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