Brain: This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test. If this was a real emergency, well, we’d be fucked
Me: Huh?
Brain: Rise and shine Knucklehead
Me: Whoa, we got whacked hard by the sleep stick last night
Brain: You’re welcome. I thought we’d appreciate it
Me: What a great way to start a Friday
Brain: Indeed Fat Man
Me: I love laying here listening to nature wake up
Brain: Enough laying about let’s rock
Me: Okay
Brain: We got some rowing to do Captain Cheese Curd
Me: Alright, alright….man you are impatient
Brain: Well you are the Director of Dawdle. Just so you know, everything doesn’t have to be a “process”
Me: I’m ready, calm down
Brain: Dawdle, dawdle, dawdle
Me: I’m ready
Brain: Finally, Lieutenant Lazy
Me: I said I am ready
Brain: Okay Pope of Procrastination
And off we go to the gym
Brain: You ready for this Fat Man?
Me: Let’s do it
About 8 minutes in
Me: Okay, I’m good, my arms are killing me
Brain: I told you to use your legs more
Me: I am, this is harder today than yesterday
Brain: Come on Rocket Man, we got this
Me: I don’t know. Let’s stop and do something else
Brain: No way Jose. We’ve gotta beat our record from yesterday
Me: You and our damn records
Brain: We got this dude, we rock
Me: Nope, I’m stopping
Brain: Stop at 9 minutes? You know we can’t do that. It’s so uneven.
Me: Ughh, this sucks
Brain: Come on man, don’t think about failure, think about how much positive we’ve already achieved
Me: Whatever
Brain: I am serious dude. We’re now over 50% done. We got this!
Me: Please lets stop
Brain: No can do your fatness
Me: Fine
Brain: Now you’re talking!
Me Whatever
Brain: It could be worse
Me: How so
Brain: You could be facing the Knights Who Say Ni
Me: What?
Brain: Or you could be trying to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring
Me: What?
Brain: Sorry they are now the Knights who say, “Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z’nourrwringmm”
Me: Oh, I get it. It’s a Monty Python thing
Brain: Right on you Pudgy Little Penguin
Me: Thanks Brain, you got us through our work out today
Brain: That’s what I do, I am a half-full kind of Brain
Me: Half-full of shit I’d say
Brain: Good one
Me: Thanks
Brain: Happy Friday and make it count!
