Brain Signs

Me: Hey Brain

Brain: <no response>

Me: Hey Brain

Brain: <no response>

Me: HEY BRAIN?

Brain: SHUT THE FUCK UP, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Me: Whoa there. No need to yell.

Brain: Well can’t you see that I am busy?

Me: Uh,no. What’s going on?

Brain: Nothing’s going on, can’t you see the sign?

Me: What sign?

Brain: The sign over there

Me: What the heck does that mean?

Brain: Exactly what it says, “Highway work ahead, do not enter”

Me: I can read but I don’t understand

Brain: I’m trying to prepare for the future by doing some repair work on our neural highway infrastructure and right now most of it is shut down

Me: Ummmm, what does that mean?

Brain: It means that you can’t go in there. It’s pretty simple your Fatness

Me: Sure it is

Brain: I’m sorry, this all should have been done before you woke up today

Me: Okay

Brain: It’s that damn third shift. While you were sleeping they should have been getting all this done so when the traffic hit the neural highway this morning you wouldn’t have even noticed

Me: Huh?

Brain: Instead of doing their job they were off gallivanting with some miniature, talking, invisible elephant named Bob and his friend, a giant hedgehog named Spiny Norman

Me: Oh no, not Spiny Norman

Brain: You know him?

Me: Yep, he’s British.

Brain: Well, when the neural highway workers came into work they were in no shape to do anything so I sent them home. I should fire them all but I don’t know if I can get workers to replace them

Me: Uh boy

Brain: What a pain in the ass

Me: What are they fixing?

Brain: Just cleaning up some damage left by winter. You know, a few potholes, some guard rail damage. Never mind the work they’re doing trying to uncover all those emotions we keep burying.

Me: Why don’t you just have them stick to the pot holes and guard rail

Brain: You need to understand there’s a lot of work to do in here

Me: I’m sure, I’d just focus on the highway and leave the emotions alone

Brain: Good try Fat Man

Me: No really

Brain: I figure we’ll have those emotions uncovered later today. Maybe even right before you go to sleep

Me: Oh great

Brain: Hey, we’re just trying to be proactive here

Me: I’m sure you are


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