Brain: Do you know what I find interesting?
Me: No. What time is it?
Brain: What do you mean again? It’s 3am once a day
Me: Again, as in, why are you waking me up at 3am AGAIN
Brain: Oh, I was thinking about the word fuck
Me: It’s fucking 3am, why in GOd’s name were you thinking about the word fuck?
Me: Exactly what?
Brain: I find it interesting on how people use fuck on social media in this day of hyper-sensitive political correctness
Me: Okay, I’ll play along….for example
Brain: Well some people will write it as f*** or maybe Fxxx or even eff
Me: Maybe they’re just trying to be polite
Brain: I get that but to me it seems like you’re making the reader do the “dirty” work.
Brain: Well the reader is going to read f*** or fxxx as “fuck,” right?
Me: I guess
Brain: Come on. You see f*** and you don’t say fart, fork, fund or foot when you read it
Brain: So why disrespect one of the best words in our lexicon?
Me: Good point
Brain: “That’s effing great,” just doesn’t have the same punch as “That’s fucking great.” Even though I wrote “effing,” the reader will translate it to the word fucking in their mind
Me: Hmmmm, good point
Brain: Fuck may be one of the most versatile words we have.
Me: I guess fuck is pretty versatile
Brain: Pretty fucking versatile? You have to be fucking kidding me
Me: Okay, simmer down there you fucker. Hehehehe
Brain: Now you’re fucking getting it
Me: This is great, we’re bantering about fuck at 3am. Who else would fucking do this?
Brain: Who the fuck knows?
Me: Well played
Brain: Think about how many different grammatical categories fuck falls into
Me: A lot I think
Brain: Fuck – it can be used as both a transitive and intransitive verb, an action verb,a passive verb, an adverb or even a noun
Me: Lol, wow
Brain: It also can be used as an adjective, an interjection and even a conjunction.
Me: That’s f***ing great Brain, can we now go back to fxxxing sleep?
Brain: No way you f#$!er, let’s get up and f___ing go to the f!!!ing gym
Me: Okay, I think we’ve worn this out
Brain: Why the eff would you f***ing say that?
Me: You know why
Brain: Fine, let’s go
Brain: You rock Fat Man! Happy Fucking Friday