REM Brain

< Bolting upright in bed in a total adrenaline rush>

Me: What the fuck! Holy shit! Man, that was close

Brain: What’s up Fat Man

Me: What’s up? Didn’t you hear that thunder?

Brain: What are you talking about?

Me: We almost got hit by lightning

Brain: Really?

Me: What?  We really almost just got hit by lightning

Brain: Ummm, not really

Me: What do you mean “not really?”

Brain: I hate to break it to you but that was a dream

Me: No fucking way. That was real

Brain: Nope that was a real dream

Me: What the fuck, it seemed so real

Brain: To you it was real.

Me: Why the hell would you do that to me?

Brain: Well, every once in a while we need to test the reticular activating system whose circuits run from the brainstem through the thalamus to the cortex

Me: Huh

Brain: Think of it as one of those tests of the emergency broadcast system you hear on terrestrial radio every once in a while. You know, “this has been a test of the emergency broadcast system, this was only a test….”

Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah I get. Why didn’t you tell me about the test?

Brain: I forgot

Me: You forgot?

Brain: Hey, shit happens. I was busy and REM happened and then, well, given the storms that happened yesterday…..

Me: Shit happens? You scared the shit out of me

Brain: Hehehehe. Sorry Fat Man

Me: Sorry?

Brain: Oh, calm down Larry Lightning. So you had a crazy dream, big freaking deal. It wasn’t like you were falling

Me:  You can be such a dick

Brain: I am who I am

Me: That you are

Brain: Hey, remember the words from the Garcia song, The Wheel?

Me: Huh, no?

Brain: “If the thunder don’t get you then the lightning will”

Me: Very funny

Brain: Yes I am


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