Fathoms of the Brain

Me: Breathe in, breathe out

Brain: Yawn

Me: Breathe in, breathe out, no sleeping, relax

Brain: Yawn

Me: Breathe in, breathe out, focus

Brain: hmmmmmmm, focus

Me: Breathe in, breathe out, singular focus, breathe in, breathe out

Brain: hmmmmmmm, singular focus

Me: That’s it Brain – breathe in, breathe out – we’re almost there

Brain: Huh what?

Me: Relax Brain, breathe in, breathe out – focus

Brain: What do you mean, “we’re almost there?”

Me: Relax Brain, breathe in, breathe out – focus

Brain: No really, where is there? Where are we going?

Me: Relax, breathe in, breathe out – focus

Brain: Seriously, where is there?

Me: Breathe in, breathe out – where is the center of our consciousness

Brain: Oh no you don’t.  No one goes in there.

Me: Brain, according to yoga international, “Meditation is a precise technique for resting the mind and attaining a state of consciousness that is totally different from the normal waking state. It is the means for fathoming all the levels of ourselves and finally experiencing the center of consciousness within.”

Brain: Seriously?

Me: Yes seriously.  Breathe in, breathe out

Brain: I think I just peed myself laughing

Me: What?

Brain: No really, “fathoming?”

Me: Shut up

Brain: “The center of consciousness within?” HAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: Can you just be open minded about this

Brain: Open this Fat Man

Me: Come on Brain, this can really help us

Brain: You want to help us?

Me: Yes I do

Brain: Good, get your underwear clad ass out of bed and make us some coffee. It’s Friday and I need some caffeine

Me: You are such a dick

Brain: I’m a dick? You’re the one sitting in your underwear thinking that you’re really going to explore different fathoms of our consciousness at 530am on a Friday

Me: That’s the goal

Brain: Who do you think you are Jacque fucking Cousteau?

Me: Jacque who?

Brain: Jacque fucking Cousteau. You know the French explorer and famous conservationist

Me: Whatever

Brain: In his French accent I can still hear him saying, “Buoyed by water, he can fly in any direction — up, down, sideways — by merely flipping his hand. Under water, man becomes an archangel .”

Me: Great, just great

Brain: My favorite Cousteau quotes is really simple but so powerful

Me: And what is that?

Brain: “People protect what they love”

Me: Okay, that is pretty astute

Brain: Yep, ponder that the rest of today

Me: Fine, let’s get some coffee

Brain: Now you’re talking Fat Man. Time to ROCK THE DAY!


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