Me: Breathe in, breathe out
Brain: Yawn
Me: Breathe in, breathe out, no sleeping, relax
Brain: Yawn
Me: Breathe in, breathe out, focus
Brain: hmmmmmmm, focus
Me: Breathe in, breathe out, singular focus, breathe in, breathe out
Brain: hmmmmmmm, singular focus
Me: That’s it Brain – breathe in, breathe out – we’re almost there
Brain: Huh what?
Me: Relax Brain, breathe in, breathe out – focus
Brain: What do you mean, “we’re almost there?”
Me: Relax Brain, breathe in, breathe out – focus
Brain: No really, where is there? Where are we going?
Me: Relax, breathe in, breathe out – focus
Brain: Seriously, where is there?
Me: Breathe in, breathe out – where is the center of our consciousness
Brain: Oh no you don’t. No one goes in there.
Me: Brain, according to yoga international, “Meditation is a precise technique for resting the mind and attaining a state of consciousness that is totally different from the normal waking state. It is the means for fathoming all the levels of ourselves and finally experiencing the center of consciousness within.”
Brain: Seriously?
Me: Yes seriously. Breathe in, breathe out
Brain: I think I just peed myself laughing
Me: What?
Brain: No really, “fathoming?”
Me: Shut up
Brain: “The center of consciousness within?” HAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: Can you just be open minded about this
Brain: Open this Fat Man
Me: Come on Brain, this can really help us
Brain: You want to help us?
Me: Yes I do
Brain: Good, get your underwear clad ass out of bed and make us some coffee. It’s Friday and I need some caffeine
Me: You are such a dick
Brain: I’m a dick? You’re the one sitting in your underwear thinking that you’re really going to explore different fathoms of our consciousness at 530am on a Friday
Me: That’s the goal
Brain: Who do you think you are Jacque fucking Cousteau?
Me: Jacque who?
Brain: Jacque fucking Cousteau. You know the French explorer and famous conservationist
Me: Whatever
Brain: In his French accent I can still hear him saying, “Buoyed by water, he can fly in any direction — up, down, sideways — by merely flipping his hand. Under water, man becomes an archangel .”
Me: Great, just great
Brain: My favorite Cousteau quotes is really simple but so powerful
Me: And what is that?
Brain: “People protect what they love”
Me: Okay, that is pretty astute
Brain: Yep, ponder that the rest of today
Me: Fine, let’s get some coffee
Brain: Now you’re talking Fat Man. Time to ROCK THE DAY!
