Me: <In a panic> Holy shit, we have a big problem
Brain: Huh?
Me: We have a big problem, wake the fuck up
Brain: What’s the problem?
Me: I forgot my password
Brain: Which password?
Me: I don’t know, I think all of them
Brain: What are you talking about?
Me: My phone doesn’t recognize my fingerprint or password, my computer doesn’t recognize my password. I’m fucked
Brain: When did you last change them?
Me: I might have done it last night
Brain: Why would you have done them last night?
Me: Because there was a guy with a giant head with blonde hair who hacked into my phone
Brain: When was this?
Me: Last night. He hijacked my Twitter account saying the world needs to hear his message
Brain: Well don’t you remember what you changed your passwords too?
Me: Ah, I thought I did. But why isn’t my phone recognizing my fingerprint?
Brain: That’s terrible
Me: Worse is that the man with the giant head and funny blonde hair then started screaming at me about some hole in his lawn. Saying I caused it
Brain: No way, lol
Me: Yes way. Why aren’t you taking this seriously?
Brain: Because none of it is real
Me: What are you talking about? Of course it’s real
Brain: I guess in one sense it is real
Me: Please, you have to help me remember
Brain: Easy Fat Man, like I told you, it’s not real
Me: What are you talking about?
Brain: I told you it’s not real. It was a dream
Me: WHAT?
Brain: Yeparoo, I made the whole thing up. Dude, think about it! You don’t even have a Twitter account to hijack.
Me: Oh yeah, I guess I don’t.
Brain: See, now you can relax
Me: Why do you feel that you have to fuck with me on a daily basis?
Brain: Because I can
Me: You are such a dick
Brain: Why thank you
