Brain Curd

Brain: This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This is only a test. If this was a real emergency, well, we’d be fucked Me: Huh? Brain: Rise and shine Knucklehead Me: Whoa, we got whacked hard by the sleep stick last night Brain: You’re welcome. I thought we’d appreciate it Me: What a … More Brain Curd

Brain Rockets

Brain: Pssssst Me: WHAT!!! Brain: Oh, you’re awake Me: You already knew that. Why are you pretending it’s a surprise? Brain: Aren’t we Mr Panties-in-a-Bunch this morning Me: I’m tired, let’s just get on with it Brain: Okay, fine. Get dressed and let’s go to the gym Me: Fine, yawn….. Arriving to a surprisingly busy … More Brain Rockets

Brain Mileage

Brain: Happy Tuesday Fat Man Me: Whatever you say Brain: Come on man, it’s a glorious day Me: It’s 4am, nothing is glorious Brain: Embrace the day, it’s awesome Me: Sure Brain: Let’s rock and roll Me: You and your rock and roll, ugh Brain: Fat Man, you’re going to rock the elliptical. I just … More Brain Mileage

Brain Weight

Brain: Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday Me: Time to go sweat Brain: Right on Fat Man Me: Guess what we’re doing today? Brain: ..duh, going to the gym Me: Correct! But I have a surprise today. Brain: I really don’t like surprises so just tell me now Me: Okay. Today we’re introducing free weights into our training … More Brain Weight

Smoking Brain

Me: Hey Brain, that was great Brain: Nice job oh Fattest of them all Me: Come on, give me a break. Brain: Just kidding Fatty Patty Me: 3.55 miles in 35 minutes. That’s good for us Brain: It’s not bad. Not bad at all Me: Why do you have to be such a dick Brain: … More Smoking Brain

Brain Excuses

Me: Back hurts Brain: Yep Me: Knee hurts Brain: Yep Me: Ankle hurts Brain: Yep Me: I’ll go the rest of the week I promise Brain: Yep Me: No really. I’ll go Brain: Yep Me: I am so tired Brain: Yep Me: Who the fuck even cares if I go Brain: Yep Me: It’s just … More Brain Excuses